This is your brain on chemo…..

Hi Friends! Whoa. It’s been just a bit since i’ve posted anything on herrrrrr. How’s about a life update, eh?? I’m due for another whack of chemo next Thursday…..this will be treatment #3 and that means i’m HALFWAY DONE! I’m still feeling pissed off that I’ve got 4 more to go, but everyday the finish line gets a little closer.I was scolded by my oncologist for bringing up drinking even a sip of alcohol. I was like DAAAANG Mang! Chill! I also did not tell him that I had 1 drink at Club Bee’s when I was out with my girl frans. But in my defense….I needed that drink. It was both for me and the safety of those around me. But ok, ok….. no booze. Fine. I can’t wait til i’m done with this mess so I can rage! And by rage I mean drink 2 glasses of Kim Crawford Sav Blanc and be completely shit faced. #cheapdate #holdmyhair #ohwait #idonthaveany #whatever

Life thus far….. I’m feeling normal-ish. Back to work and exercising on the reg! Which has been keeping me sane. Hubs and I are participating in #30daysofkettlebells programmed by my gal pal, Jen Sinkler. If you don’t know her you should probably look her up. She’s a fellow Leo, Witchy witch, and barbell junkie…..and she’s got a real hot booty, too! Also, if you like kettlebells, sign up for  her 30 day program! It’s bomb.

The symptoms this go round have been a tad different than numero uno…..likely due to this Neulasta shot they gave me. This bad chicken causes some real nasty side effects….one being bone pain. And I don’t mean like aches and pains, I mean like it feels like your bones are being blow torched. It’s really weird because this medicine specifically spurs your immune system to create more white blood cells…….and when it was in the R & D phase the majority in the drug trial were having EXTREME bone pain with the exception of a small group of people. So they did a study on them specifically and come to find out these smarties were all on Claritin for allergies… as weird as it sounds and allergy pill helps with the bone pain. It doesn’t get rid of it completely. I don’t even want to chance rolling the dice and not taking it. It’s not like a constant pain, but frequently i’ll get these stabbing pains in my left humerus bone, or the 2nd toe on my left foot. Yea, you read that right. I don’t know why… i’m not a damn doctor. Or i’ll get these pains that feel like my ribs are caving in on my lungs….shoots down my back and into my hips. I can be in the middle of a conversation over dinner and one of these mofos comes on and I literally lose my breath. I got one walking down my steps and almost broke my GD hip. It’s the worst, man! The worst!

So let’s talk about chemo brain, shall we? WW III almost happened at my house last night. But before we get to the good stuff let me give you a bit of backstory. Zach and I live on a military base and it’s ran by a real shotty management company who does a piss poor job of taking care of the lawns. They’ll mow/trim/fertilize the front yard but they won’t fertilize the backyards. So our backyard needs a fertilizer and pre-emergent. I pick up some fertilizer and bring it home and Zach and I were talking last night and he says “hey did you fertilize the lawn this morning?” and for those of you who know me, you know that Zach is responsible for the upkeep of the yard, not me. So I was like “ahhh, what are you talking about?” He said “you told me last night you were going to fertilize the lawn before you went to work!” My mornings consist of getting up at the very last second, slapping on some make-up, throwing on a bra, making some breakie and rolling out of the house on the quick. At no point in any conversation did I ever offer to get up early and fertilize the lawn. That’s on the list of things that i’m not responsible for. Like taking out the garbage, but for the past two weeks i’ve had to do that because Zach won’t get out of bed to do it before the garbage people come thru the hood. But i’m not keeping score here! Promise! (but seriously….if he doesn’t start taking out the trash the night before I can’t promise I won’t smother him with a pillow) Anyway, he swears up and down that I said I was going to fertilize the lawn. I did NOT say that. I would never have said it! Ever! That would never be something I would freely agree to do! YOU are the husband! YOU fertilize the damn lawn! And also take out the friggin’ garbage! But part of me is like “whoa. Lindsay, you can totally tell you’re forgetting things. Did you actually offer to do that?” and my brain is like “FUCK NO!” So, chemo brain is real people. And it blows. It’s super irritating because I know that i’m forgetting stuff… feeding my dog at night. GASP! Yea, I forgot. And now i’m writing sticky notes to myself with tasks that I can’t forget to do and sticking it to my phone. I’d send myself an email, but i’d probably forget to check it. So the moral of the story is my husband is totally fucking with me, people! And if he’s reading this….which i’m sure he will at some point. HEED THIS WARNING!  70 days til my last infusion….which means probably like 90 something days til i’m clicking on all cylinders for good. So get your pokes in….tell me I said shit when I didn’t….i’m on to you now, sucker! I may not remember this when I get home tonight, but I WILL eventually! I WILL! And fertilize the GD lawn, will ya!



2 thoughts on “This is your brain on chemo…..

  1. Hi love!
    It seems kind of soon for the third treatment…? I am amazed at how you bounce back…total machine I tell you. Take care sweets!!



  2. I know! It’s flying by, but it also seems like it’s crawling at the same time. I’m ready to get this one done and over with so I can get my scan and see how i’m responding to the treatment!


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